Ageplay in the Media: Understanding via Pathologizing (Part 2)
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A commonly used tactic for characterizing an ageplayer, particularly in television media, involves pathologizing the individual. This means that the ageplayer is depicted as a damaged, emotionally scarred or sick person, and this damage or illness makes their current behaviour understandable to the viewer, who is assumed to be “normal.” This illness or damage is linked to the ageplayer’s sexuality, at which point it is assumed to be established as the core or essence of the ageplayer’s being — it becomes the driving identity of their life. Margot Weiss explains that this helps viewers differentiate between those “normal” people like themselves who might occasionally experiment with ageplay for fun, for style, as a behaviour or a practice, and “those perverts” whose identities are completely occupied by ageplay. The occasional experience involving schoolgirl or poolboy scenarios is therefore acceptable, but to stray too far from social expectations means that you might carry some illness or emotional trauma that rules your life.
Examples of this kind of treatment of ageplayers are easy to spot. In fact, this method of understanding kink in general is so widespread that it is often adopted by ageplayers as a way to understand themselves, and in turn explain themselves to others. The Vice piece on Baby Bunnykins, for example, states in its first line that “he has paraphilic infantilism— a condition characterized by the uncontrollable desire to wear diapers and act and be treated like a baby.” Further in the article, when asked to explain his desires, Baby Bunnykins explains that he had “a traumatizing childhood,” and that he “used to think all Abs were wounded as children like I was,” but soon discovered that traumatic childhood experiences were not a necessary precondition to possessing these desires.
In a similar vein, Stanley in the National Geographic episode of Taboo attributes his desires to childhood abuse at home. This same abuse also resulted in a PTSD diagnosis. Stanley’s ageplaying is then presented as a coping method to deal with his past abuse. I will note here that a certain class bias present in the backlash against Stanley’s media appearance. While many aspects shared in the episode are subject to discussion and critique, what gained mainstream appeal was the fact that Stanley was supported by social assistance while running a website and building an item or two of furniture. The assumption here is that if one is on social assistance or poor, one should not be able to find any enjoyment out of life— and definitely not out of a simple website or a self-built item of furniture constructed out of donated material.
Most recently, Riley Kilo found herself being “understood” through a pathologizing strategy in an episode of My Strange Addiction. One particular segment begins with the narrative voice-over: “Is her addiction preventing her from having a normal life?” Riley meets with a psychologist, and is asked to produce a narrative about her history as a means of providing some context to the psychologist. What level of editing occurred here is unknown, but the segment follows with Riley recounting the traumatic experience of being bullied in middle school. Immediately after discussing these experiences, Riley contests the implication that these bullying experiences have anything to do with her current choices of pleasure and style by stating “I don’t really feel I do this [ageplay] because I had all these negative things in my life.” The psychologist responds, however, with “I challenge you a little bit on feeling like this aspect isn’t very strongly related to your experience” and explains after the meeting to the viewer that “it’s not possible for someone to make her [Riley] change. It’s her coping skill. So trying to tell her that she just has to stop— she’ll just drive it underground.” The message is clear: Riley’s ageplaying should be understood as a coping mechanism to deal with her traumatic experience being bullied as a child.
The implication in all these cases is that were it not for this illness, disease, emotional trauma or damaged personality, the ageplayer would not be an ageplayer. Instead, they would exhibit some “normal” sexuality (heterosexual, married, etc.) and would not be afflicted with this “problem.”
Understanding through pathologizing is a fundamentally patronizing explanatory strategy. One’s tastes and pleasures should not have to be examined by and defended from armchair psychologists or the pity of a television audience. A preference for vaginal intercourse or digital stimulation does not require an excavation of one’s past for hidden traumas, so why should a preference for particular items of clothing or roles need such a treatment? What is revealed in this pathologizing strategy is a preoccupation: “why is it that this person is not normal?” This preoccupation assumes that a certain narrow set of sexualities are normal: heterosexual, married, vanilla, etc. Instead of challenging this assumption about one’s ideas of normal (perhaps it is the case that people’s sexualities exhibit themselves in a multiplicity of unique and wonderful ways!), the viewer is automatically directed to think that any aberration from the privileged set of normal sexualities is the result of damage or illness.
About The Author
Joey Frosst
I am a 20-something kinkster, ageplay enthusiast, writer and philosopher extraordinaire, specializing in the politics of kink. Follow me on Twitter @JoeyFrosst
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It’s an interesting read, But being DL myself who had little childhood problems (except some excessive teasing the first few years of high school) it just confirms what I already know. We might be a small, strange, group of people, but you don’t have to have problems to join. And I like it that way.
I live an ageplay life. I am well adjusted, can and do interact in the big outside world when required. The vast majority of people I know are well functioning people. I don’t consider myself to have any illness nor do I feel I can not cope.
I am fortunate that I am able to be who I want to be and be supported by many friends.
Suggestions that I do this because I am “ill” are uninformed and threatening. If you are different you must be sick. Most people get that I am boyish in an unusual way. They like it generally. They also enjoy that I am a fun and helpful individual. I work in social services and deal with many “normal” people that have difficulties with responsibilities and expectations of others.
In the end, its about enjoying your life, not hurting others and if you can contributing to help others find peace and happiness.